How Bout We Stop Being Retarded: A rant.

So I saw this picture on facebook once too many times, here's what I have to say about it.

I am not proud of being a woman. I'm not non proud of being a woman, either. It's just that I don't see the point in boasting that I have a higher estrogen level and lower testosterone level. A biological eventuality is nothing to be proud of. The same way that I am not proud of being blonde. Or being tall. Or having ten toes. I literally had a 50% chance of having a second X chromosome. Had the coin flipped the other way, I probably wouldn't of been proud of being a man, either (although we all know or can guess the origin of the word "cocky" so I can't really affirm anything, actually).
I'm proud of being intelligent, though. I'm proud that I've read my way through life. I'm proud that I know how to work well. I'm proud that I can think. I'm proud that I can sometimes put my fears to the side, and do something that I was afraid to do (for example, going to the bank. Those people are super snooty and scare the crap out of me, but I need to manage shit because apparently that's how adults act when their mother isn't around).
I am proud of my resume. Of the fact that I have the Queen's Jubilee prize for making a difference in my community. Of the fact that I am driven and I can go get what I want.

So can we please stop with the "I'm so fucking entitled about what differenciates me from another group of people when I've done nothing to deserve to be entitled about it."
You want to be proud of being a woman? Be proud of being a mother. Be proud of breaking the glass ceiling. Be proud of redefining stereotypes. Be proud of being a motherfucking human. You don't get to be proud about that extra chromosome. You don't get to be proud of being a dipshit that pulls doors instead of pushing them, of doing simple math on your fingers, of "hiding your pain". I've seen countless men do it. I've seen countless children do it. You don't get to be proud for insignificant moments that don't define being a woman, at all. You get to be proud when you've proven yourself.  End of the line. Show me that you can go above and beyond others, and you can be proud. Because I can guarantee there is someone out there who can do double the things you do before the microwave beeps.

Hipster

I kind of understand them. Hipsters, I mean. There's something in knowing that you didn't jump on a band wagon. In knowing that this one thing that everyone loves, you loved because you loved it, not because you're trying to fit in and agree with the society that surrounds you. In knowing that when you loved it, it was yours. Maybe not your own creation, your idea, your brain baby, but hell, you had a bigger part of it than you do now.
It feels like you're sharing an inside joke with yourself. You know that knowing little smile you give your friend when someone else mentions something that reminds you of an inside joke you have with them? Well, it's like a little joke with yourself, a little mental nod when someone mentions an event that reminds you of your favorite book, of a quote of your favorite movie.
It's like a "Hey, I'm culturally advised enough to know about this, and no one else does." Call me condescendant, but I love the feeling when the whole world explodes with obsession over something, I can smile dans mon fort interieur and know that I've known for way longer than them that this thing in particular was cool.

But stop waving your stupid starbucks frappucinos and your lens-less glasses in my face. You're not a unique snowflake, stop acting like you are when really, you're just like every other self-entitled idiot in the world.

Also, I read the Fault in our Stars the actual year it came out, so stop telling me how awesome it is, I know.