I don't think I've ever been in love. I've had some pretty serious crushes: I was on and off with a guy for a whole two years, never able to fully get over him until lately. I *really* liked the guy. But I don't think it was love. I had a six month crush on some guy in 6th grade. In my defense, he was really good looking as an 11 year old. I think, though, that any amount of things may make me fall in love, someday.
I think that if I was making chocolate pudding at four am and he walked in and said "Is that chocolate pudding?" and I would say "Yes, would you like some?" and he would say either "No, thank you, I'm tired. I'll go back to bed" or "Yes please, I will sit down with you and have some pudding and maybe a light conversation", I would fall in love a little bit. Because you know how many people would say "Why are you making chocolate pudding at four in the morning?" ? Too many people.
And I think if he understood that my idea of a perfect date is nachos and video games at two am, I would fall in love. Because I don't like going out. I don't like PDA. I don't like people around us seeing how I would look at him. So even though I suck at video games and have MAD gamer rage, if he can watch me fail at shooting people and scream profanity at a bunch or random strangers while trying to manage a string of melted cheese, I would fall in love.
I think that if I was shivering and he gave me his sweater, I would fall in love. Because I fucking love oversized sweaters. And probably his smell.
I think if he knew that when something that I obsess over (like school. Or nerdy things.) is going badly, my world is suddenly all gray and I hate everything, I would fall in love. Because it would mean that he listens.
I think if he was the type to sit and do his own thing while I studied or read, quite in silence, I would fall in love. Because there's nothing better than having a connection with someone without having to talk.
I think if he knew how to make myself feel better about a body I hate and a personality I'm desperately trying to fight, I would fall in love. Maybe because a part of me is trying to love myself. Maybe because I need to know that someone doesn't see my flaws. Maybe because it's so nice to know someone thinks you're great. I just know that if someone manages to make me fall in love with myself, I would have no choice but to fall in love with him.
This is all theoretical, of course. I don't actually know what will make me fall in love. And it's not something I'm rushing towards. Looking forward too, maybe. Because I was trapped in a emotion void for so long that letting myself feel and show emotions is the most refreshing thing I've every tried. So, I'm looking forward to it, but I don't want to run head first into it. Because that's stupid. And I'm not stupid. And if he sees that, then I'm sure to fall in love with him. I just know it.
I think that if I was making chocolate pudding at four am and he walked in and said "Is that chocolate pudding?" and I would say "Yes, would you like some?" and he would say either "No, thank you, I'm tired. I'll go back to bed" or "Yes please, I will sit down with you and have some pudding and maybe a light conversation", I would fall in love a little bit. Because you know how many people would say "Why are you making chocolate pudding at four in the morning?" ? Too many people.
And I think if he understood that my idea of a perfect date is nachos and video games at two am, I would fall in love. Because I don't like going out. I don't like PDA. I don't like people around us seeing how I would look at him. So even though I suck at video games and have MAD gamer rage, if he can watch me fail at shooting people and scream profanity at a bunch or random strangers while trying to manage a string of melted cheese, I would fall in love.
I think that if I was shivering and he gave me his sweater, I would fall in love. Because I fucking love oversized sweaters. And probably his smell.
I think if he knew that when something that I obsess over (like school. Or nerdy things.) is going badly, my world is suddenly all gray and I hate everything, I would fall in love. Because it would mean that he listens.
I think if he was the type to sit and do his own thing while I studied or read, quite in silence, I would fall in love. Because there's nothing better than having a connection with someone without having to talk.
I think if he knew how to make myself feel better about a body I hate and a personality I'm desperately trying to fight, I would fall in love. Maybe because a part of me is trying to love myself. Maybe because I need to know that someone doesn't see my flaws. Maybe because it's so nice to know someone thinks you're great. I just know that if someone manages to make me fall in love with myself, I would have no choice but to fall in love with him.
This is all theoretical, of course. I don't actually know what will make me fall in love. And it's not something I'm rushing towards. Looking forward too, maybe. Because I was trapped in a emotion void for so long that letting myself feel and show emotions is the most refreshing thing I've every tried. So, I'm looking forward to it, but I don't want to run head first into it. Because that's stupid. And I'm not stupid. And if he sees that, then I'm sure to fall in love with him. I just know it.
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