50 Shades of Nope.

I'm rather angry at 50 Shades of Grey. Or perhaps the fact that it made that E. L. James grossed 33M in three years, (not counting the film industry) and it's not only poorly written, but it also portraying a glorified image of a growing and alarming issue.

Here's what I have to say about the trilogy: 

I'm going to start out with the fact that this book made literary erotica cross the line from socially taboo to socially acceptable and main-stream is wonderful. I could write an entire post about erotica, and I might, but that's for another time. In summary, however, erotica is a great alternative to pornography, especially in a generation that has access to it long before they have a first sexual experience and have distorted ideas about sex. 

I also love the fact that it got BDSM out there. I'm not a part of the community, but through research and talking to people who do participate in the practice, I have come to understand that partners who partake in BDMS have a relationship based on trust and profound and growing intimacy with their partner. After all, it takes a special bond (no pun intended) to give someone a weapon and say, "here, find the point where you hurt me, but stop before the pleasure goes away." E L James also put a light on the subject and popularized this idea, and I also think she shocked society into the knowledge that alternative sexual options are open to them.

The trilogy rustled my jimmies when I realized how she portrayed such a relationship between two characters.
I haven't read the trilogy because I refuse to vote for it with my money, but I feel I have done enough research on both sides of the argument to stand by my point that what Ana and Christian have is not a healthy relationship.
And that's the point. Surprise, the book would have no plot if there was no character development. Oh wait... there is none, after all.
It seems that James tried really hard to write a book about redemption and growing love while putting a twist in the form of an exciting and hardly known sexual enticement. In theory, she manages just that: Ana "fixes" Christian, who, because of his love for her, ultimately pulls through childhood issues and stops with the violent loving. Ana is willing to put her fear of pain for her love for Christian. She is a heroine, suffering for love. In the end, their relationship has endured hardships and violence and abuse and come out stronger. It's the typical love story, with a shocking, sexual component. Of course people would lap it up. 

However, unfortunately for common sense, Fifty Shades of Grey shouldn't have struck the winning formula to a best-seller. In fact, the writing is quite poor and repetitive. She seems to prefer the words "gasp" and "blush" and use them at an annoying rate. Furthermore, the couple does not "make love" or "have sex". They fuck. Congratulations on the super deep emotional level, James. I mean, I can think of seven synonyms for "gasp" off the top of my head. Also, gasping is not the only thing you can do to express pleasure. The only thing I'm taking away from this piece of literature is that James has a rather poor sex life or a limited vocabulary and no access to the Internet thesaurus. Maybe both. 

However, poor writing is not my main concern with this book. To put it bluntly, it's the glorification of abuse in the book. Hang on with me here, I'll walk you through it:

Christian Grey is the personification of an oxymoron: Rich, handsome, independent, he has his life together. Except, represented by a room full of weapons, he has dark, red demons. But Christian Grey is not a masked murderer or an openly abusive partner. Oh, no. Christian Grey, hurt and suffering from childhood issues, takes his frustration out through violent pleasure. At the risk of getting lynched by BSDM adepts, it seems to be a consistant feature in members of the community: they would rather take out their demons through rough sex. This is not definitive in a an abuser, and if done right, BDSM is the opposite of abusing. So let's look at the definition of an abuser, according to the Free Dictionary, shall we?

1.1 someone who regularly or habitually abuses someone or something, in particular.

1.2 someone who sexually assaults another person, especially a woman or child.

Christian Grey makes Ana sign a contract which she cannot negotiate, refuses to stop when she asks him to, takes no heed of her fears and does not confort her after a particularly violent session, punishes her for standing up to him and blows a gasket when she uses the safe word. Instead of a back and forth relationship between a dom and a sub, it's all about him. He dominates, sure, and she's submissive, but it goes further than that: she does it out of fear, because he gives her an ultimatum: "Accept that I am as I am because I was hurt as a child, or leave." She fears leaving him, and she fears the sex. Forcing someone to do something does not equal consent. And no consent during sex has one definition: rape.

So how is it that if a man does not wear a condom when asked to during intercourse, it's considered rape because it is not total consent, but playing on basic human instincts and emotions in order to force someone to do something they're not fundamentally confortable with isn't? 

There is also of course the fact that outside the bedroom, Grey is completely inappropriate. He takes over Ana's life, buying the company she works for, stealing her car and blaming her for it, marrying her so that she is his and his only. In return, Ana is never appreciated on her own in the books. She is a sharp-tongued and smart, but her shyness, her plain demeanour and her willingness to slink behind Grey's much more impressive shadow shine through in the novel; the moments when she is not with him, she decays into what is a pitiful and sad form of a human (which is where James meets Meyer, I suppose.) and she seems to do everything for him instead of out of pleasure or internal motivation.

The problem is not that these themes are in the book. Literature should shock, literature should explore taboos, and abuse is a very present problem in our society. In fact, we should applaud any author who tackles the problem head-on and calls it out. But James doesn't. Which is where lays the problem. The problem is that these over-whelming and strong themes are undermined in the writing. Never is it mentioned that this behavior is wrong. Never is it mentioned that this is not what a normal relationship is (and before I'm confronted, I know it's the whole point of the book, but it is never explicitly said, and it seems the fact flew over most reader's heads). Never is it mentioned that the audience shouldn't applaud Ana for standing up to Grey, when really, she is just acting as a normal human should when confronted to something that she doesn't agree with. Instead, James glorifies Grey, and it works: several millions of readers have fallen in love with him and fantasize about a man that could be just as rich, handsome, and - especially- as dominant as Christian Grey is. 

That is where my true issue with the book lies. I'm calling society out on the fact that they think that it's okay to idolize a man whom treats his girlfriend and wife as a man should never treat a partner. I'm calling out society on the fact that that is what they will think is acceptable in a partner. I'm calling them out on the fact that we blew this up to ridiculous proportions and we applaud a woman who wrote not one, but three books whom not only have no plot, use the same impersonal and bland words to describe what should be a vastly multifarious and intimate experience, but who also eulogizes a human that has no respect for someone he loves... and the fact that it's ok that a woman cannot extricate herself from an abusive relationship that ultimately and in any context outside of a fantasy, would destroy her. Real life is not a book. Real life is not Grey and Ana. Real life is dangerous, and very few people truly change, even for love.
What I want to see is a book where, sure, the excitement and suspense of violent love hooks the reader in, but it's also made clear that the victim can get out, whether they be man or woman. Abuse is a rising problem in our society. Let's not pretend that it's justifiable with love, and let's certainly not idolize it.